Anthrobus, you’re not very good,
At scoring goals, even though you should,
Cos it’s your job, what you get paid for,
Fuck’s sake, even Murphy has scored more!

Two goals in seventy-odd games?
A general reluctance to not shoulder the blame?
A lack of awareness, of control, and of skill?
Who’ll fuck it up this week? Don’t worry, Stevie will!

Oh Stevie, Stevie, when will you learn?
You have to justify the money you earn!
When will you pass, or shoot with some accuracy,
When will you show us some fucking ability!

He’s bollocks! He’s useless! He’s crap! He’s a waste!
He’s got no fucking talent and no fucking pace!
And if you feel sorry for the big bad Bus,
Imagine paying his salary – imagine being us!

Dave Madge