In a move that was about as unexpected as the Iraq war Dave Savage today signed for Bristol Rovers. Gas boss Ray Graydon said that he has long been an admirer of Savage, United’s Supporters Player of the Year last season, although as he said the same thing about Rob Quinn one has to question his judgement.

Meanwhile the club and the Oxford Mail have kissed and made up and the ban on Jon Murray has been rescinded. United fans can now look forward to wildly inaccurate match reports and totally random star ratings, again.

United have announced that they are to have their own television station this season, called OUTV. We have visions of Lee Steele playing a tough car mechanic in Oxenders, a look at life following United in Home And Away, an in-depth view of the sewage works in Neighbours and further shots of Jefferson’s arse in Changing Rooms.