Next season, as part of a marketing strategy by the Football League and their new sponsors Coca-bloody-Cola, United will be finding themselves playing in League Two, which is the rebranded Division Three, which in turn used to be Division Four. This ridiculous change is supposedly to con those naive fools at Sky and elsewhere that everyone is playing at a higher level than they actually are, with Division One (which used to be Division Two) now called The Championship (!) and Division Two (formerly Division Three) called League One. In future, for the sake of clarity, Rage Online will refer to United’s division as the basement.

Firoz Kassam’s latest attempt to bring rugby to Oxford has met with failure. He was trying to buy the league position of Wakefield, who played in Division Two (or is that Division Three, or Four?) but who went bust and were forced to resign from the league, and use that to set up a new club playing at the Kas. However, those dastardly fiends at Twickenham decided that, unlike their more illustrious FA counterparts, franchising is not the way forward for rugby and refused to agree to the move. Wakefield have intimated that they might appeal this decision, but it looks like Kassam is fated not to have a rugby team share his facilities.

In addition to the pre-season friendlies already announced by United, there are two more of which we are aware, plus another potential one. Ipswich Town are due to visit the KasStad on Tuesday 20th July, although this has yet to be confirmed at the Oxford end. An Oxford side is scheduled to visit Oxon Senior Cup holders Banbury United one week later, on Tuesday July 27th. Oxford are also, according to Radio Oxford, trying to tempt Chelsea to the Kas for a friendly that will be one of Jose Mourinho’s first games in charge. If this game goes ahead, male Oxford supporters would be well-advised to keep their wives away from the venue.