Hats off

Wayne Hatswell is no longer an Oxford United player. The former Forest Green Rovers centre half has been released from his contract, having failed to impress Ian Atkins and currently being about 75th in the defensive pecking order. Hatswell, bought by David Kemp in a moment of madness, is famous for scoring a spectacular own goal for Forest Green. He is widely regarded as being United's most improved player this season, but unfortunately he was starting from a very low basemark and is still quite clearly not yet up to football league standard. No great loss, then.

Nicky Banger has decided to call it a day after playing one game for Torquay and “feeling too many aches and strains” afterwards. Gulls boss Roy McFarland said “It takes a big man to admit that he's not up to the job”, although United supporters could have told him that years ago.

Luton Town have turned down an £800,000 offer from West Brom for former United trainee Matthew Taylor, who is also wanted by Sunderland. Town boss BFJ is adamant that Taylor is worth £2 million, despite being rejected by Oxford for being too fat (as was Taylor).

Up

Congratulations to Plymouth Argyle on becoming the first team to be promoted in England this season. The green slime oozed their way into Division Two after winning 3-1 at Rochdale, despite Paul Simpson scoring his first goal for 'Dale to give them the lead. Lee Nogan scored York's second as they beat Lincoln 2-0 at Bootham Crescent.