Will Lankshear scores a spectacular second goal against Sheffield Wednesday (Photo: Steve Daniels)

Like winning promotion in 1984, results elsewhere meant we were relegated before even kicking a ball in our last home game of the season.

Charlton’s win over a, frankly, rubbish Hull City, combined with West Brom’s draw with a, frankly, disappointing Ipswich Town, meant that whatever happened in United’s game against Sheffield Wednesday wouldn’t be enough to climb out of the bottom three, and so our two-year adventure in the Championship came to an end.

Despite, or possibly because of, this, there was a decent atmosphere in the Kassam Stadium. I think most people were relieved that we were, like a horse with a sprained ankle at Aintree, finally put out of our misery. Unlike the racing steed, this was entirely self-inflicted and as a result I don’t feel that football should be banned (yet).

It should also be noted that the atmosphere was buoyed by the partying Wednesday fans, many of whom were in fancy dress, and who had come to terms with relegation even before Artemis II had orbited the moon. Fair play to (most of) them (although not the five who found themselves in the cells, including one moron who punched a steward).

So, while the fans sang gallows humour songs about going to Bromley next season (with an away capacity of just six hundred at Hayes Lane, it’s extremely unlikely that everyone singing will be able to get a ticket), the players set about the task of giving the home fans one last Championship win to celebrate.

And, aided perhaps by possibly the worst away team I’ve ever seen, United took to the task with style. Maybe it was the knowledge that relegation was now a certainty that allowed the players to perform without fear, or maybe it really was the collective desire to entertain the fans to make up for a season of, largely, misery, but for once the team delivered.

The match stats tell only half the story: United had better possession (but apparently only 51 per cent, according to Opta; I once sat next to a PA Sports rep at Aldershot whose job it was to call in the various stats and when I asked him how he worked out the possession, he said he made it up. I hope they’re a bit more sophisticated now, but I doubt it), had an xG of 2.15 to Wednesday’s 0.93, had 20 shots (10 on target) to Sheffield’s 10 (four on target). While a lot of the other measurements were largely the same for both sides.

However, the visual evidence was clear: Oxford were by far the better team, untroubled in the first half (taking a 2-0 half-time lead) and while the visitors came into it a bit more once the game was beyond them, it was still the U’s that looked more likely to make a decent fist of League One next season than the Owls.

Will Lankshear became the first Oxford player to score a second-tier brace since Dean Windass against Swindon in February 1999; Will Vaulks scored just his second goal for the club – his first this season – celebrated with his trademark somersault; while Myles Peart-Harris wrapped things up just a minute after Wednesday thought they might be back in the game through Will Grainger’s goal. Nice.

Some other interesting (or not) stats include this being the first double United have achieved at this level since beating West Brom in October 1997 and February 1998; the first time Oxford have scored four times in a second-tier game since beating Stockport County 5-0 in May 1991, when the side was also already relegated; the first time that the U’s have scored four goals since the 5-0 whooping of Peterborough in April 2024; and it was United’s ninth home win over the Owls (and 15th overall) – can we play you every week indeed.

I will leave the season’s inquest until after the final game, at Millwall this Saturday. Suffice to say that the two seasons at this level have both felt like a struggle and, while finger-pointing and blaming will inevitably occur, and there should rightly be a serious review of what went wrong and how it can be fixed, the truth of the matter is that the squad just hasn’t had the quality to compete successfully. This is not a failure of recruitment or a lack of will and desire; it’s the reality of having one of the smallest budgets in the league.

If Oxford are to return to the Championship in one or two seasons, they will have to learn the lessons from the past two years. But, however well these lessons are learned, the simple fact is that while the club remains at the Kassam Stadium they are never going to have the resources that the majority of teams in the second tier enjoy (unless by some miracle Stevenage win this season’s League One play-offs). The club should be in their new stadium for the start of the 2028/29 season, all being well, and that will help generate the necessary turnover to help the club compete. Even then, United will be one of the smaller sides at that level and will probably not be able to aspire much beyond mid-table.

That, though, is a problem for the future. For now, don’t be sad that it’s over, be glad that it happened. Two years in the Championship will have been enough to whet everyone’s appetite for football every week in decent stadiums, with large crowds and a full away end in the Kassam Stadium, where the average league attendance has been the highest since the early 1970s, when football was in its heyday and the Manor had yet to have its capacity reduced for safety concerns.

We will, of course, still be here next season. For now, we’ll give you all a virtual hug and a peck on the cheek and we promise to look after you all during the summer.

UTFO