Rage Online

Them 0 Us 2 (Constable, LSD)

Att: 888 with 333 of Us

UE: Jim has a glass of whisky in his hand to celebrate the end of an exceptionally long and successful managerial career when interviewed by Nathan post-match.

Suds 1 Sods 2
? Constable, Haldane
765 (321)

UE: Oxford Mail headlines &quotIt's Walker&quot just before Kelvin announces some foreign manager no one's ever heard of before
UE2: Programmes at the game don't sell out before I get one
UE3: It doesn't rain

0 - 6 Guy Haldane Odubade Constable Trainer and Little Sammy Deering who will kiss his .... etc. etc.

876 321

UE I get there sober and a giant Wikka man appears behind the home team end during the first half.

Sudbury 0 - 1 Jim Smiths Whiskey

Phill (should play in) Trainer('s)

986


UE: Oxford don't get out played, out fought, and out classed, by a bunch of fat blokes from the British Gas, Auto Windscreens, Johnsons Paint, East Anglia Combination 2nd tier intermeadiate south Suffolk 3rd division!

Sudbury 1-3 Oxford
Wilmott og - Deering, Trainer, Yemi
715 (267)

UE - A group of Morris dancers take to the pitch midway through the first half. It transpires that these were hired by Colin Walker in an attempt to get Kelvin and Jim's attention.

Sudbury 1 (Speed) Oxford 3 (Constable, Guy, Odubade). Attendance 395. Away crowd 100.

Unexpected event: The game is abandoned due to heavy snow.

sudbury 0 - Oxford 2
guy and constable
797 and 265

Village team 0 Absolute village 5 (o.g. 5)

666 222

Jim Smith speaks to the team before his last match in charge, and commends them for their on-field behaviour: for his part, he says, he has changed his behaviour in the dressing-room and on the touchline. Indeed, he has stopped swearing at players - now he never does it. &quotWhat, never?&quot ask the players. &quotWell, hardly ever&quot, he replies.

1-1 (Cole, Constable)
572 / 212

UE - Nick Merry goes into a local hostelry after the game to share his views on the manager appointment, but after he buys everyone a drink it is explained to him that he has merely gatecrashed a wake for the local prize bull.

UE2 - The Sudbury manager orders one of his own players to get sent off in the first five minutes to ensure that Oxford cannot win...

Them 0 Us 5 Guy 3 Yemi Haldane 874 589

2-0
808
202

Suffolk 1 Oxfolk 2
Hawes, Constable, Trainer
777, 155 (but I doubt there will be a count).

Our worst managerial fears are realised. Then Jim and Billy have a furious argument over the half time oranges – Jim says I’ll cut, you chose, but is angered when Billy picks the largest slice. They are finally reconciled as they drift helplessly in a rowing boat carried by the flood tide towards the sea. The river Stour rises and washes away all our tears.

I love a happy ending.

&quotAncient Colin&quot wrote:155 (but I doubt there will be a count).

I'll count, shouldn't take more than a minute.

Amateurs 0 Professional Amateurs 2
Guy, Deering.
658
146

UE All six prospective managers travel on the team coach and are interviewed collectively by the whole squad and the management team on the way back, votes are then cast in a reality show style and as ther is a draw the deciding vote goes to the coach driver who goes for Matty Elliot as he was a nice lad when he was at the club before who allways gave him a decent Xmas Box.

Despite this not being the selection process envisaged by most Oxford fans, Kelvin is able to claim it was much more open and rigorous than the one in place when DP was appointed.