Fleet of Foot

[Ancient Colin]

GCSE Examination in Boot Studies.

As is the modern way, to obtain higher threshold marks, candidates have to succeed at lower thresholds. Failure at a lower threshold means that the candidate's result at the higher threshold is ignored, except for the purpose of distinguishing between two candidates with equal ranking at that lower level.

Candidates have ten minutes reading time. Read the rubric and questions carefully.

Answer All Questions
NB Any candidates who quote the questions and rubric in their answers will be automatically disqualified and given a fail grade.

Qualification Question for Grading:
What will the result be between Ebbsfleet and Oxford? (candidates should note that this does not ask for the score).

C Grade Threshold:
Specify whether the number of goals that Ebbsfleet score is an even or an odd number (candidates should note that for the purpose of this question, zero should be considered an even number).

B Grade Threshold:
Will the Oxford away support (as announced officially) be greater than 250? Answer yes or no. (Candidates should note that, in the event that no figure is announced by Monday evening, those successful at threshold C may proceed directly to threshold A).

A Grade Threshold:
Assume that the game is divided into six fifteen minute segments. Segment A is 0-15 minutes Segment B is 15-30 minutes Segment C is 31-45 minutes Segment D is 46-60 minutes Segment E is 61-75 minutes and Segment F is 76-90 minutes. Time added on at the end of the first half belongs to Segment C. Time added on to the second half belongs in Segment F. Assuming Jamie Guy plays, at what segment does he leave the field? (candidates should note first that if Mr Guy is playing at full time he will be considered to have left in Segment F second, that if he enters the field as a substitute, the question remains valid and that, third, in the event of his not playing at all, this question is null and void and candidates who have been successful at the B Threshold may proceed directly to the A* threshold).

A* Threshold:
What is the Oxford Ratio of Shots On Target to Shots Off Target (candidates may wish to specify their answer to two decimal places).

[Ancient Colin]

Home Win
Even
No
Segment E
0.43

[Boogie]

Home Win
Even
No
Segment E
0.42

Nothing in your rules about badly disguised plagiarism....

[Mooro]

Bit confused on this as normally it appear that spelling your name right automatically achieves a 'B' grade, but that facility does not appear to be available

Draw
Even
Yes
Segment F
0.67

[Hog]

I agree with Mooro: I got grade E in French CSE and I've always said I must have spelt my name wrong!

Home win
Even
Yes
F
0.5

Colin, what assurances can you give us that the paper will be marked in time for the successful candidate to set the new examination?

[Ancient Colin]

Should be no problem, I have outsourced the marking to an experienced American specialist educational test firm for a large fee and I understand that they have hired a team of elite local markers to complete the process quickly and efficiently. Well, that's what it says on the press release anyway.

[Hog]

That's good, I'm reassured.

[boris]

Bloody hell, I thought I'd done with all this crap when I left school.

Home win
Odd
Yes
Segment F
1

[Kernow Yellow]

Draw
Odd
Yes
F
0.666

Does the A* threshold question act as a tie-break (ie does it not necessarily require an exact answer)? It is unclear from the wording of the paper.

[Ancient Colin]

It will be used to distinguish between candidates, yes.

[Mally]

Is it just me, or are boot questions a lot easier than they used to be? I'm also concerned that some entrants are getting their parents to help them.

[Zeke]

Draw
Odd
Yes
E
0.5

[Matt D]

it's a cascade, then?

still, i better use capitals for this.

1. Home win,
2. Odd,
3. Yes,
4. Segment F,
5. 0.3.

[oxfordjames]

Away Win
Even
Yes
Segment E
0.35

[Baboo]

What a load of f**king old bollocks.

(Have I passed?)