Dorchester Hat

[Radley Rambler]

Us 2 Them 0

Yemi, Constable

Att: 2800 with 300 dorks

[A-Ro]

with 300 dorks

Snigger!

5 - 0 4000 400 Yemi Haldane Guy Constable Turley.

UE I post a UE

[Hog]

3-0
Trainer, Yemi, Constable
3333
333
UE: Two players score hat-tricks, both teams use 2 goalkeepers each and when the game ends all-square after 90 minutes the referee mistakenly play 30 mins extra time.

[scooter]

Us 3 Them 1

Yemi x 2, Constable, Moss.

2768

68

UE After being gobsmacked by the astounding history of our fine city that he learnt on the bus tour this week. Yemi when he scores his second goal unveils a t shirt with the words &quot Stuff you Tolpuddle boys, Tom Cranmer is the man&quot.

[Mooro]

A win, but only after a late goal finally makes it safe:
3-1 (Guy, Taylor, Trainer // Mudge)
Att 3131
Away 131

UE - Due to fixture confusion, the away team is actually the staff XI of a well-known hotel.
UE2 - Hinchliffe starts, another player makes OUFC debut.

[newhinkseyyellow]

Oxford 4 (Haldane, Yemi, Constable 2) Dorchester 0

3612 (357 from Dorchester)

UE: East Stand abandon 'We are the left side...' chant, in favour of a chant that includes Oxford in the words.

[Pe├▒a Oxford United]

Christminster 5 (o.g. 5) Casterbridge 0

3333 222

Entering a dark changing room, the players are surprised to find seven doors in the wall. Deciding to open them to let in light, they find that each one reveals something different. The first leads to the physio's room, the second to the boot room. Behind the third are their bonuses for reaching the First Round, behind the fourth the pitch in immaculate condition. Behind the fifth is a view of the city of Oxford, but stained with blood: behind the sixth they can see the reservoir at Farmoor, but filled with tears. Burnell pleads with the others not to open the last door, but they do, to reveal players from each of Burnell's three previous clubs, dressed in their kit. Burnell praises his previous clubs and then his teammates: now they beg him to stop, but it is too late. They find themselves dressed in Northampton, Wycombe and Bristol City kit and are transported variously to Ashton Gate, Adams Park and Sixfields, travelling along magic beams exuding from the floodlights.

[Ancient Colin]

Oxenford 1 Dorchester 1
Trainer, Foster o.g.

3,222 242

STEVEF is revealed to be a doctoral student researching French philosophy and semiotics. When asked to say what he thinks Patto knows about management, he responds instantly &quotFoucault&quot.

[Pe├▒a Oxford United]

I bet you also do the &quotMarcuse&quot gag.

[Geoff]

Randolph 3 (Constable, Odubade, Trainer). Dorchester 0. Attendance 2,900. Away crowd 100.

Unexpected event: Guy scores a hat trick because I don't forecast him to score at all.

[Ancient Colin]

I bet you also do the &quotMarcuse&quot gag.

You mean le bloke qui manage Manchester Cité?

[Zeke]

Us 1 Them 0 Trainer 2865 241

[Pe├▒a Oxford United]

I bet you also do the &quotMarcuse&quot gag.

You mean le bloke qui manage Manchester Cité?

Yes.

When I was briefly at the University of East Anglia in 1986 one of my housemates was a rather earnest philosophy postgraduate from Wigan who once asked me, out of the blue, &quothave you ever heard of Marcuse?&quot

&quotOf course&quot, I replied. &quotBarcelona, Wales and Manchester United.&quot

The funny thing is, it wasn't quick-wittedness on my part. I actually thought she meant Mark Hughes and was asking me about it because I knew about football and she didn't!

[oxfordjames]

Windows 3 Doors 0
(Yemi, Trainer 2)
2,960 (107)

UE: The U's are exPelled for fielding an ineligable player, only for the FA to realise that they've cocked up once more...

[Baboo Junior]

Oxford 3 Dorchester 0
Constable Yemi Trainer
3300
250